Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize