Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
