HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
