I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
