i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
