So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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