Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
