I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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