I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
