I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
