I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
