Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
