i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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