Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize