my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize