Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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