Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
