No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
