that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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