ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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