did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's shark week go big or go home
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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