Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
