did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
