Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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