how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
