I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize