My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
