it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
