Sry I called you an 8
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
