Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
