I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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