You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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