she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Alive.
So much puke
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
