What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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