i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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