Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
