I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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