its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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