Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
