if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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