Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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