Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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