what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
