How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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