doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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