Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
