yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize