Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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