Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
