then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
