Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize