What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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