Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
