that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
