I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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