He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
