You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
