You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
either way he was missing a nipple.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
