i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize