I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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