Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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