I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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