I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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